Lesson #6: God's Blessings Are Different Than What You Think

The end of the first quarter of the school year has just passed, and it has not passed without a good degree of stress, disappointment, and feelings of failure. The main reason for this is my failure in reporting my students' grades. At the end of the quarter, I was not able to report reading grades for my students because they are inaccurate...only because I have no idea how to assess reading or teach it to Spanish speakers. The fact that I could not report grades for Reading (and nearly Science) really brought to my attention my failure as a teacher. Until that point, I was just using the resources that were given to me. I had felt overwhelmed and my strategy was to do the best with what I had. The 1st quarter report cards served as a wake-up call to me-I have to change how I am doing things...because they are not working. Even if it means that I will have to find and make extra resources. But in it all, I realized that if I had not failed as a teacher this first quarter, I would not have given God the glory in my classroom. At the end of my teaching experience, I would have said "what a great experience and my kids and I learned so much!" Now that I've recognized my incompetence as a teacher, I've come to realize just how much I can't be successful on my own...that I need God's help. At the end of this experience, if God chooses to take over my classroom and help my children learn...I'm going to be able to say, "Look what God did in my classroom!" I can give Him all the glory because I know that I could not do in my own strength and power.

Within the past couple of weeks, God has really begun to work in my mind the meaning of His blessings. All of my life, I've had the picture that God's blessings were health, success, peace, comfort (and answers to prayers, in general). As much as I've always felt uneasy with the "health and wealth" or "prosperity" teachings, for some reason, I never examined my beliefs concerning God's blessings and what they really mean. Clearly, the idea of God's blessings come from somewhere. That "somewhere" I believe is the Bible, but somehow I've come to interpret and understand God's blessings incorrectly. This idea came to my mind one Sunday morning as I absent-mindedly sat in the Amigos church by my house. I want to attend church services here, but none of the churches so far have captured my attention or taught me more about the Bible or God's character. Nevertheless, God has been faithful to teach me things just by coming to church...things completely unrelated to the message being spoken. On this particular Sunday, God brought the question to my mind, "Does the Bible ever say that if you do God's will, everything will be well/good for you?" The next morning, I looked for the answer in my Bible. I've been reading a paraphrase of the Bible lately called "The Message." As I flipped through the pages, the Beatitudes came to my mind. I flipped to Matthew 5 and began to read. As I read, the words really sank into my heart and my mind...and convicted me and the meaning of God's blessings were affirmed in my spirt. "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule. You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are-no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetitie for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you'll find yourselves cared for. You're blessed when you get your inside world-your mind and heart-put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom. Not only that-count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable."

As I read each blessing, I began to consider God's blessings in my life. I was at the end of my rope with my classroom. For that reason, there is more of God now and He is ruling in my classroom. As wrong as it sounds, I believe that the stress, feelings of failure, and disappointment were God's blessing in my life.
Then I thought about losing the one who I felt was dearest to me. In any relationship, there is the temptation to make the other person the most important. Since coming to Honduras and having to maintain a long-distance relationship, I've really begun to know what it means to be embraced by the One most dear to me. He is the one that I talk to every morning and share my life with. He is the one who knows every detail of my life. It's wonderful.
The final blessing about persecution has always confused me. But, it's not been until recently that I've begun to understand it in the more day-to-day life. Within the past few days, God has spoken to me directly and clearly concerning something that I've been praying about for a long time..I am convinced that He spoke to me. When I shared this news with someone that I really cared about, the reaction was that I was deceived and lying to myself...that I didn't obey God and that I was only following my flesh. These words were so hurtful coming to me from someone that I loved so much...but the next morning as I considered God's blessings once again, I recognized that these lies were said to discredit God...not me. God was clearly at work in my life and putting me down for it and speaking lies about me were actions that denied God's work. And as much as it did not feel that way and as much as it still does not feel that way, it also is God's blessing.
So...God has been blessing me a lot lately.