Lesson #10: Life is lived in the moment, but remembered through reflections.

Really, my entire blog while in Honduras has been a series of reflections. Rarely do we write about things while they are happening (unless you're a reporter or something of the sort.) The funny thing is, although my life in Honduras has become a series of reflections or memories, I did not have the luxury of seeing my literal reflection very clearly while living in Honduras. What I mean is that the mirror in my bathroom above my sink was a small, maybe 8X6 square that I could barely see my entire face in. This is what I used to tell every morning whether or not I looked okay before I left for school. Never was I able to tell how my clothes looked on me! That was definitely a different experience. Viewing my reflection became even more difficult when the electricity would go out the night before and not come back on even after the next morning. On these days, I would have to trust that I looked okay because the light in my bathroom was too dim to really see anything in the mirror. Thinking about the small glimpse of myself that I was able to see reflected by the mirror, I think about how partial my reflections really may be compared to the reality and entirety of my experience. Nevertheless, I went to Honduras in faith and confidence that that was where God wanted me. Coming back, I can see the work that God accomplished while I was there.
Before leaving for Honduras, God had been doing a work in my heart about the meaning of church and The Church. Consequently, I had been longing for an organic church body that did not necessarily follow the church traditions.. I had become very discouraged in my search, but God had a plan for me all along. Soon after arriving in Honduras, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor was involved in a non-profit ministry called Urban Promise. This group of people met every Sunday morning in their office for something they called "English church." These meetings consisted of tasty potlucks and talks about God, among other things. At the first meeting I attended, I was told that the purpose of the meetings was to learn more about God, whatever that meant. Throughout my time in Honduras, I regularly attended these meetings and realized that this was exactly what my soul was longing for. Nobody was in charge of the meeting, but there was always a sense of unity in our discussions and worship. I attributed this to the Holy Spirit. What's more, these people became friends. I never could have planned it out myself-that I would travel all the way to another country to find the church body that I was looking for.
Another work that God had been doing in life before leaving the United States was making me realize my lack of transparency with people. I never wanted to share how I felt or what I thought with others because I was afraid that it would be boring or that it would be something I would regret saying later. Through going to the weekly Sunday gatherings and because of my wonderful roommate, God began transforming me. Although I was hesitant to share at first, I was put in situations where I couldn't not share. My roommate constantly talked about her thoughts and feelings, and over time, I felt compelled to do the same. In fact, to not do so would make me feel unfair. Also, the church meetings would not have been very interesting or effective, if nobody ever talked. By refusing to share my heart, I would have been refusing the Holy Spirit. And so, God created situations in my life that allowed Him to continue His work.
God also grew my faith in Him during my time in Honduras. Through many of the experiences (most of which I have posted blogs about), God was teaching me to trust Him. I think back on my time in Honduras as a time that I was able to hear from God and learn about Him independently from the beliefs, thoughts, and fears of those around me. In many ways, I felt as though it was just me and Him.
Even as I write these reflections, I think about the passage in I Corinthians 13:9-12. "For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known."