Lesson #12: Life is Unpredictable

Do you know Proverbs 16:9? "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."

Well, that couldn't seem truer for me right now. If asked just a few years ago what I thought my life would be like today, I definitely would not have imagined the twists and turns that my life "course" has taken. For one, I never dreamed that I would have chronic unexplained (for the most part) pain that seems to be getting worse. I also would not have imagined that I would leave my ESL teaching job that I love in Lee's Summit. I probably would have told you that we would own our own home (that much is true), but I also would have said that we would have at least one child by now. That obviously is not true. What's more, the fact that we do own a house is about to change this week! We are selling our first home with the help of my aunt, thankfully! That's not all. It's hard to begin to explain, but I think my blog post How to Live with Purpose kind of explains my thought process in this decision.

I know that my life here in the United States can be filled with just as much meaning as anywhere else in the world. I also know that I am not the one who creates the meaning, but it is God. With that being said, I can't explain why I've felt drawn to live and teach in other parts of the world since before I graduated high school. I can only explain it as a calling. What I do know is that when I lived and taught in Honduras, I left with a much deeper understanding of God and myself. Although I've heard it said that God never works in the same way, I can't help feeling as though part of the reason I learned so much is because I was where I was "supposed to be." And I can't help but wonder if the reason why things are the way they are for me is because I've tried to force a different life. One that "everyone else" expects of me. The kind of life where I get married, buy a house, and start a family. In other words, "settle down." I believed it. But can I say, in the 6 years that I've pursued that lifestyle, I've not only experienced mostly "spiritual stagnation," but also a dramatic health decline?

With that being said, I have some big news. In the middle of August, Tim and I are moving to China to teach (for just one school year for now)! We will both be teaching English at a primary school in Wuxi through the same organization that I taught with a couple summers ago. I will only have to teach 18-20 hours a week, so I will also be able to decrease my working hours. Additionally, they will be giving us a stipend and an apartment. Unfortunately, it does get cold there just as it does here, but I at least will not have to work as many hours as I do here.

I am so excited about this change! It's so hard to leave the seemingly perfect job, our seemingly perfect home, and most of all, my family and friends. We most likely will have to leave my kitty, Princess behind too! 😢 We also don't know Chinese, and there will definitely be some adjusting to do living in a completely different culture. But in spite of all that, I mostly feel excited!
25-27 One day when large groups of people were walking along with him, Jesus turned and told them, “Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters—yes, even one’s own self!—can’t be my disciple. Anyone who won’t shoulder his own cross and follow behind me can’t be my disciple...33 “Simply put, if you’re not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can’t be my disciple. (Luke 14: 25-27, 33 The Message)